Tribulations of a snowpea

Another one bites the dust...?

2008-03-08T15:12:00.000-08:00

Alrighty then... well as for Joe, I can see it being done.

He did not contact me when he was in Ontario. And on Monday he sent me his first email in quite awhile. Saying...

"Hey sweetpea, came back early as it is just too cold there, plus the conference is done. Hope your neck isn't bothering you as much as the last time I saw you. Would you like to get together this week? Hope your having time to stop and smell the flowers. Look forward to seeing you, Joe"

I of course wrote back saying...

"My neck is ok, I think it was linked to the cold I had as I had a pretty bad fever last weekend. LOL You must think I'm some delapitated girl! I'm feeling better just have a very hoarse voice right now.
I think we can arrange something. You'll be proud of me I have been ditching shifts and now have a few weekends off. Slowing it down a bit. And no, its not something that I want to continue to do forever, just now as I save up.
Anyway let me know when your available, looking forward to seeing you too."

And that is all there is, was, and ever were. No comments back. Which is fine really - I am just annoyed that he didn't have the balls to write anything back saying that perhaps he's not interested in someone as delipated as I. Granted when he stated that he wasn't seeing anyone else, I said that I am not either because I don't have any time. Ouch! But to be fair, he must understand that I did end a 9 year relationship and unsure if I am prepared to take another leap. And as for perhaps he's been injured and unable to go online - not an excuse. The dating site has time stamps (if your a favorite) for the last time someone has signed on and so I know he's been on a few times since then.

As for the dating site - I have hidden my profile. Not sure I want to continue being contacted by strange men. I have to say there are alot of those out there.

Until next round.

Snowpea xo

Ok, so what now?

2008-02-27T18:52:00.000-08:00

Well lets see, I've seen Joe for a total of 5 times. Including the 2 dates mentioned before.

We met downtown for a drink and dinner at the Lennox before he caught a flight to Calgary. He was late showing up downtown, which I can't get too mad about because he was coming in on the bus from Horseshoe Bay. I did pick up that tab as I felt it was only fair since he had the last couple dates. It was pretty good I guess. He had his hockey bag near the table and it has a funky smell, and smell is really important so that may have thrown me off a bit. We walked to the bus stop for him to take to the airport and then as the bus pulled up to the light he asked to kiss me again. I said sure and we had our first stand up kiss LOL. It was ok... I really shouldn't be comparing to other people but it's so hard not too! Anyway he later said the reason why he asked me if he could kiss me was because he was uncertain of my attitude towards a public display of affection since I had ended a long term relationship. I did mention that it has been almost 10 months since that and I'm fine.

The next date we had was before my birthday (and Valentine's). No, he did not get me anything - which is totally fine. We did play racquetball again for only 45 minutes and then went for some Indian food near Kits. That was nice and easy going, we did get along well and conversation was flowing easily. He dropped me off again near the skytrain to catch his ferry - kissing was better, or was it the butter chicken still on my mind?

The last date we had was about a week ago, he had me meet him downtown because his meeting was running late. Again he picked me up late and I was in a sour mood because one of my pals I chat with was fired from one of my stores. We decided to go back to my house and there I proceeded to make dinner while he sat on my computer and looked up some places we talked about. It was going ok, gave me a good back rub and we laid on my futon after and talked a bit. We did kiss a little bit and then he was like oh, I hate to do this but I have to go catch my ferry. So off he goes not after we had another kiss session and he said "oh nice, make me all aroused before I leave" and off he went. And by the way the kissing is like a arrow finding the target LOL Don't really know when it's coming - almost like little pecks... very odd!

Now it seems almost awkward. We didn't make out, no cop-a-feel, no sex, so why??? He had hardly written to me and now he's off in Ontario. He hasn't messaged me since he's been away and I was the last person to write. So I guess we'll see if he contacts me again when he gets back, he did want to sit down with me and go over some of his business ideas but I don't think I have the energy for this crap. I'm pretty sure that I'm done with men. I have another tale for another day involving a co-worker and drinks... but I'm tired and sick and don't feel like doing it now!

Till next time... xoxo

Snowpea

Too good to be true....?

2008-02-01T22:42:00.000-08:00

Ok so I haven't been keeping up and filling people in... D, you in particular. But I will do a quick fill-in on the guy that I've been seeing from the dating website.
I am amazed. He seems to be a swell guy, a true gentleman. We've been on 2 dates and they have gone great. Let's call him Joe.

Date 1 - We meet on a Sunday and decided to meet up downtown. When I walked up to his car he jumped out and gave me a hug right away and opened the door for me. (Awww)
We drove down to Spirit park and took his dog for a walk. After a good hour and a half we decided to go grab some food and preceeded to head to a sushi place down on English Bay... where I must admit was a nice place and the food was excellent. (Just wish I could remember the name to refer people). He was very talkative and had some interesting stories about his business that he's working on starting up at a new facility. Joe is a tennis instructor, plays hockey, and he's training for a triathalon. (I feel incredibly lazy!!)
After our delicious lunch we decided to go to Costco and grab some stuff. He did buy a huge back of M&M's which made me feel a little better. And the sweetie bought me a isolated travel mug (with a carabeaner) because I had mentioned that my coffee goes cold because I forget about it at work. He is a huge coffee fiend and thought that was terribly wrong. And D - the mug is like yours but with a handle.
He drove me home and as I was to go, he asked if he could kiss me! Isn't that old-school! Of course I said yes and I won't get into details about that. But it was nice! LOL

Date 2 - Joe picked me up from work and we went to play racquetball for an hour and half. We had a couple breaks and I was definitely out of shape and glowy... (LOL who am I kidding I was sweating like a pig!!!) He paid for the first 45 min and I forced him to let me pay for at least part of the 2nd 45 min.
After our game, we changed and headed out to a restaurant called "West" - very fancy place. He opened doors for me, and even pulled out my chair! (I don't know any guys who do that ever!) We had great conversation and shared a bottle of wine, and some delicious food. I recommend the ravioli! Before we knew it, it was 8:30 and we had to rush out of there or he would miss his ferry. We get our main meal and bottle of wine (crazy) to go and rushed out of there. (And yes he picked up the bill).
He dropped me off on the way at the train and drove to the ferry, which he missed.
:o( He text msg'd me and advised me of this and I, of course, offered him to stay at my place. He declined - as to the circumstances and I then shot back that I do indeed have a futon and must get up early in the morning. (Men assume so much) He again declined stating that he had a great time and that we would talk soon. I did have an enjoyable night so we'll see. Of course I will not divulge all the information as its a need to know basis at this time, but there's always a chance to update! ;o)
Could it be too good to be true....?

UPDATE ON TYSON:
He messaged me a few times on Facebook, I did not respond, and he finally removed me as a friend - good riddance. I updated my pic recently and he surprise, surprise, pokes me and msg'd me saying and I quote "Are you really that impossible. I'm wondering if you are a jaded person or just didn't like me? communication was poor
:(" Of course I refused to banter back at him and have no interest in slime.

Anyway that's me, till next time.
Snowpea xo

Creepy Cheater Man

2008-01-20T13:14:00.000-08:00

Ahh so there was a little amusing tidbit that I forgot to mention last time I was on – and I have been meaning to add to my little trials and tribulations.

I was on facebook and through a friend a guy asked to be my friend. Thinking nothing of it I decided to add him. We had a fair amount in common including country music. So we chatted for a while and then decided to move to messenger. From there, Dawg (who is quite vain), decided to be forward and ask if I would like to get together with him. He told me he had a girlfriend but if I didn’t mind going behind her back he would be more than obliging. I was a little blown away by his forwardness, however, being the new found cool chick who is trying to be awesome was like, well I have no intentions at this moment to do anything as I haven’t even met you. And that I go with the flow. HAHA! I am thinking no, I’m so not like that. As I signed off and actually thought about it more and more I had come to the conclusion that there is no way in hell that anything were to happen as he was very into himself and if he asked me that, how many other women has he done this to and how many have actually gone through it. I felt bad for the girlfriend but dang I don’t want some disease from some self absorbed putz!! So I decided to block him from my messenger and deleted him off my facebook.

As I mentioned I had signed up for the dating website and you will never guess what freak decided to instant message me!?!?! Oh yes! It was he! The Dawg himself. And he has no excuse as I had my picture on there and he knows what I look like. He was probably either A) recognized me but couldn’t place the face or B) was sure it was me but was checking. I have no clue but I saw it was him – looked at his profile, laughed and then closed the message window. Carly and I had a great laugh over that one. What is with men?

UPDATE ADULT TRADE SHOW:
The adult show was still an idea at the time this happened so I was definitely thinking of pick up a fine piece of craftsmanship and enjoy that piece and no longer deal with the idiosyncrasy of men!! I have to say they sure know how to dig themselves into a hole!! LOL and of course I have gone to the show and not only purchased 1 fabulous vibrator with a duck (apparently the rabbit is over rated) but I got the I-bod vibrator too. That one is more for novelty than actual use - if you don't know what it is - the adaptor plugs into your I-pod and the shaft vibrates along with your music. The louder the better. :) Definitely check it out! I also got some other fantastic items. But those are on the need to know basis ;p

UPDATE DATING WEBSITE:
The dating website is picking up momentum. I have had a few half decent fellas message me. I have a date on Sunday with one guy I have been chatting with consistently.

Oh and HAHA! Also bumped into a guy that I have seen at my regular pub. Fortunately he was just saying hi! and not actually interested in dating me - I think he got the hint when I was dodging him. He's a really sweet guy though, and I hope he finds someone out there as great as he.

Well another few down... seems the tales are endless! Until next time.

Snowpea xo

What is with men today!!

2008-01-18T18:53:00.000-08:00

Ok so I had a few things that I was going to blog about however this takes the cake so I will save the other ones for later.

This one is about the guy he was hitting on me online... Tyson... the facebook guy that I have been chatting to and trying to set up a meeting, however (and with fortune), that he is a hard core player and I am happy that I have not got mixed up or in to deep with this guy. As I had mentioned before he and I have been chatting back and forth online as well as having a chat on the phone. Seemed like a totally nice guy. It would seem that he is indeed not. He was busted not once but twice poking my friends off my friend list. And this is extremely current - being today. - For anyone not familiar with Facebook - poking is a feature that can be used to poke either strangers to see if they will respond back or to your friends saying "hey pay attention to me".

First poke of the day I found out about lunch time at work. He had the nerve to poke one of my friends who I work with!!! And its not like its news as I have pictures of the two of us up and its captioned "work party". I know he has looked up and seen those pictures as he complimented me and my outfit. So... anyway, he pokes my friend Carly (yes, dating website girl) and she messages... ah hell lets just throw it up as she was sweet enought to email me.

Today at 12:42pm
excuse me, do i know you??

Tyson
Today at 2:01pm
nope, just saying hi! why are you unfriendly?

Carly
Today at 2:02pm
You didn't say hi, you poked me. I'm not, merely asked you a question. You are a stranger you know.

Tyson
Today at 2:05pm
Well Hi! I am Tyson and you may look at my profile and judge for yourself. I don't mean to upset you or anything. I am facebook friends with Snowpea (spelt wrong). Don't be allarmed... I am a good guy not a creeper! :)

Carly
Today at 2:05pm
Who said I'm upset?

Tyson
Today at 2:08pm
I never said you were. I said I dont mean to. yer quick on yer messages...

She at this point erased the message. He then asked her where she worked and she replied that she wasn't interested in being friends and that she works with Snowpea and that I say hi.

Needless to say he sent me a message:

Today at 5:17pm
you have an interesting work mate...Quite rude actually, I'm sure she is a nice person but not too friendly. I just felt like poking someone today and It was her.IDidn't mean to upset her or you. Hope your'e not pissed.the things people do when their bored... Call me if your still interested, in getting to know one another...T

I decided to change my status to say:
"Snowpea is sick of men and the games which they play"

And he messages me back:

Today at 5:40pm
Is that status directed at me?

Of course I have not responded - why should I? Of course then he calls me and leave a voicemessage saying that he poked my friend and yada yada yada. That I should call him to tell him goodbye or what not. I laughed... does he seriously thing that I should have to explain myself? Of course I then decide to look at my daily feed - which shows my friends talking to another of my friends etc. and I see my friend Leanne has added him as a friend... TODAY! I then look on his site and he has all his mini feed deleted but it shows that Leanne has been giving him kisses! (Kiss application). What the hell? Are you serious? Why on earth should I give him another chance and meet up with him? This is repulsive. Trust broken - already! He didn't tell me that he was poking my other friends. Anyway enough of wasting my time with this subject and him. I have restricted his visibility on my site and will end up deleting him at some point, just not yet...

Snowpea xoxo

Then till Now...

2008-01-12T12:46:00.000-08:00

Ok so it would seem that I am definitely not a good dater… let alone a good communicator. For 9 years I was with the same guy Cugo as introduced in the background blog. And let me tell you what a comfort it was. Literally. I have to say that I did the relationship no justice. Many of my friends would talk to me as if I was single and I was out there flirting along with the best of them. Of course I had no intentions of cheating and nor would have I ever followed through. I guess I was what you would call a “c**k tease”. I have always been the girl that would be in a relationship and once it starting to head south I would be looking and lining up another victim. I'm not doing that anymore... I am going to love me for once!

From the time I was 17 to 28, I have always been in a relationship with one 2 month hiatus. I went from Joe (1.5 years - my first love/everything) to Beaner (3 months – lived with) to Ken (8 months) to Cujo after my 2 months of solidarity. It is definitely time to find myself and be true. Since Cujo and I split up a week after our 9 year anniversary I had slept with Rory, dated Dave (my best friends cousin), and slept with and who knows what else is going on with Tristan. I have been speaking to another guy Tyson, who found me on facebook, and although he sounds like a great guy… I feel he has some minor issues also.

I understand that Tristan is not interested in me as a relationship other than friend with benefits. We did have a few good chats - he did tell me that the many times he told me to move on from Cujo he did have his own intentions in mind. Which confused me, I must admit I am moderately disappointed that we're stuck in a rut. He is a great kisser/cuddler and could have possibly been better in bed – had we got past more than once. He has confused me to no end and has been honest telling me that he is messed up and having personal issues. We did chat a week ago trying to arrange a time to meet up but work just gets in the way. It seems one minute he wants to spend time with me and other times he couldn’t get far enough away. I thought women were difficult. Ha! To repeat some of the things he has said, would only confuse me further and waste more time on him so off to a new subject at this point.

Dave, I have to say had no sparks whatsoever. I actually opened my eyes while he was kissing me, not once but twice because I just couldn’t read if he was ever going to finish or not. He was a talker, about himself. I thought he would be interesting and could possible work as I do like red heads and he’s taller. However, then I thought about my BFF and how it would probably piss him off and his family. That and going out with Dave a couple times showed me that he wasn’t all he was cracked up to be. I can’t believe I had a crush on him when I was 16. Just shows that when your young you don’t have half the information needed to make good decisions. We went to a hockey game which was strained when we watched (well... until I had a few beers in me). Of course after a few months of avoiding, Becky has the nerve to tell me that Moe (a friend and brother of the BFF) was worried about me. I can’t believe Moe wouldn’t tell me himself. It made perfect sense though. Saying that Dave would use me and try to make me feel special and then hurt me. Dave's msg wasn’t far from that stating that he was seeing someine but felt like a school boy and that he had a crush on me still. How he missed my smile….blah blah! So I decided to reply back that it was great he was seeing someone else and that I won’t mess with that and to basically take care. WHY? Why on earth would you tell me you were seeing someone and then tell me that you were still crushing on me? MEN! STUPID! I feel sorry for the poor girl who is with him. Gosh I am hooped. I will never find a great guy that is normal.

Rory felt comfortable, he was a sloppy kisser to start (excitement I guess) but all and all felt good and was a nice bounce. We slept together a couple times but the sweat-s**t streak he left behind definitely had me change my mind about him though, and also had me reconsider having a white bed spread. I do get attached but I can definitely turn it off HA!HA! That was just bad.

I have yet to talk to Tyson more indepth and in person. I eluded his calls for a couple months just forcing him to talk to me via facebook or text msging. I finally gave in just after Christmas and we had a good chat for a couple hours. I have returned to eluding his calls. When he said the devil is winning on his profile, I think it may have disturbed me a little. I’m sure I’ll get over it. I will probably talk to him tomorrow. Speaking of which he just text me again apparently he needs an outside opinion. Oi! What do I look like? Dr. Phil?

Anyway, so Carly talked me into going onto a dating website and so I set up a profile. I hadn’t even finished up my profile when I got an instant msg and then another, I started to panic. I couldn’t keep up. It was nice to talk to some new people, a little easier to talk to when its all new questions, where ya from? whatcha do? yada yada yada. I do have a great little story about that but for another blog on how cheating men suck.

That's it for today. Going to a Adult trade show today to get some tools and then out dancing so maybe the day will get much better. :o)

Snowpea xoxo

A background...

2008-01-11T20:53:00.000-08:00

Alright, so I am here to vent - whether anyone reads... I really don't care. (Please keep in mind -by no means is this a pity rant or any of the sort - my own explicit version as I see it, there are always 2 sides to the story, however, I believe mind is more accurate LOL).

This year I had an extremely long (9 year) relationship with a guy named Cujo** end. Let say things were grand in the beginning. I was 19, he was 20 and things were as good as a young relationship could be. I was the abiding girlfriend who would sit and wait for him to show up at 3 a.m. to pick me up. I would stay home because he would say "I'll pick you up in an hour" and well an hour usually meant 4 or 5 hours. But I was completely infatuated. He liked me, NO! He LOVED me!!! Sex was great, things were good. Then after a few years the relationship got old. Every once in awhile he would make an effort and then it would dwindle. I started to get fed up and started the operation "sabotage". Unfortunately he had a thing on me that he used. And old friend of mine, Mary. She was nuts, I knew it but I never thought it would go to extremes, rumors flew - he cheated on me with her, no she pushed herself on him, no I said it was OK. Totally confused me and in the end I tossed her. I really should have tossed both. I thought she was out to get me and I didn't know any better. Anyway he used that against me, different things that I look back on now and think wow! Would she really? Could she really?
Well things did a full reversal. I can't remember exactly when but it was around our halfway point when operation "sabotage" was going in full swing. I was bitchy, I tried to break up with him, I gained 45 pounds, became a sloth. In the end I knew the only way to get out of the relationship is to do the famous saying, "Make him think it was his idea" and it happened.

Don't get me wrong - I love him, I think he is a great guy, but there was definitely something shady going on there. He was definitely not the guy for me. I should have known that Cujo and I wouldn't get married, we were in different places and I'm glad we never did as then I would be going through a painful divorce. Now for anyone who has been in a long-term relationship and understands how I feel that's great. I know there will be people out there that have never had a relationship longer than a year and so you would not understand. Or perhaps people in long term relationships that never have gone sour. Trust - its huge! That was dimished often with online messenger history or emails. Phone calls at wierd hours.

The shock came after the break up. The breakup happened a week after our 9 year anniversary in April, which we did not even communicate on. For the 3rd year consecutively. He finally had the balls to say that it wasn't working out (WOW!) and that we should take a break. I was shocked, sad, and relieved. We left on good terms, he said to contact him after I had some time to get over my deal (apparently it was all me, but there were issued on both sides of the table). He promised to wait for my answer and that there would be no pressure. Uh huh!

We went for dinner in June and he was trying to come up to my apartment after we went for dinner and I told him no. It was a good dinner, nice to talk - we were still friends, just shitty lovers. And in a relationship chemistry is crucial. At this point I still had not dated or slept with anyone. I thought I was going to be nice as I am a relationship hopper - which will be whole other blog. We didn't talk about the relationship or anything else that would relate to that. I didn't talk to him and still haven't to this day. My shocker happened when I was on facebook and was being approached by a guy who I didn't know. I naturally checked one of my friends' lists as she was once friends with him and as I found out was no longer. But then I ran into Nicki (Cujo's cousin on my friends' list - band camp or something like that) and decided to pop into her profile for a tick to see whats new as she was blocked for a long time. From there led to her friends list and I found Cujo. Low and behold unblocked! Amazing as he is an IT guy with extensive security etc. and he was normally blocked too. So I popped in and the first thing I see is....

wait for it.......

ENGAGED!!!! This is the beginning of November. I felt like I was punched in the stomach! His fiance was listed under all his family members profiles as friends. Which again shocked me as I didn't meet his family for 2 years after we were together and I had harassed him, took him 5 years to meet my parents. I did look at her picture and can't say I was too impressed. However, I did do all the regular emotions. The tears - oh poor me! to the anger - did he cheat on me? Explains a few things... to the happiness - I'm free!!! Over and over, spent the whole weekend (that I amazingly had off) going through emotions like a wreck. I have decided that I am happy for Cujo and his lady. I hope she's not after his money and that she is a nice person who will treat him well and give him many kids. Lord knows he wanted some. I couldn't be under his wing anymore... I was tired of his controlling nature. Anyway that's all I have for now. Oh and he's off facebook now so I dunno - maybe he was trying to tell me something? It's ok, I'm at peace - no longer feel anger when I look at my call display expecting to see his name come up.

Till later....

Snowpea xoxo

**(for privacy sake no real names will ever be used - even if he/she is an arse)